i miss your musk: five signs that you have stalker tendencies by The Champ- Courtesy of VSB.com

there are few feelings better than the tingly zestfulness and effervescence and sh*t felt when liking someone “new.”
but, whether its a mutual flirtation, a person you’re actually dating, or just a simple crush, it’s easy to get a bit too caught up sometimes, and there are more than a few ways to quickly go from “awww, that was so freakin’ cute,” to “damn, that was so f*cking creepy.”
people with stalker tendencies have trouble making these distinctions, and here’s five signs that you might be one of them



1. you leave comments on old facebook pictures and status messages


lets just say that there’s weird, there’s super weird, there’s uber weird, and then there’s checking your facebook page and seeing that someone is leaving “those glasses really look nice on you” messages on pictures that were posted three years ago weird.

2. not only do you randomly remember sh*t that noone in their right mind would ever think to remember…you think there’s nothing wrong with letting people know about it
 

*conversation between a woman and the guy/subtle stalker she occasionally sees at the train station on the way to work*
subtle stalker: “hey”
woman: “hey”
subtle stalker: “i’ve been meaning to ask you something. what was the name of that song?”
puzzled woman: “huh? what song?”
subtle stalker: “oh. back in june i was sitting behind you on the train, and i couldn’t help but overhear that catchy tune you were listening to in your ipod. if i had to guess, it was either a coldplay or raekwon track”
with that in mind…

3. you definitely have stalker tendencies if you always find yourself saying things like “i couldn’t help but overhear“, “i was just in the neighborhood”, and “word? i was just headed there, now“

4. you find the most ridiculous segues possible to bring up names
*conversation between a woman/subtle stalker and one of her girlfriends*
girlfriend: “wait, did i tell you about what happened at work this week? don’t you know that that ditsy emily chick from accounting accidentally cc-ed those pg-13 pics from the vegas conference afterparty to the entire department, and now human resources….wait. are you even listening to me?”
stalker: “oh, my bad, i’m sorry. it’s just that you said pg-13, and that made me think about byron because ‘the dark knight’ was rated pg-13, and batman makes me think about byron”

5. you’re an indirect googler


look, everybody gets a “i just met this person and i’m going to run their name through google real quick to see what pops up” mulligan. but, if you find someones facebook, myspace, or linkedin profile and you start googling the people they’re connected to just to see if you can possibly find even more info on your crush, then maybe it’s time to put down the catfood and jump in the shower.
anyway, people did i miss anything? can you think of any more signs that a person has stalker tendencies?
also, has anyone ever been the stalkee (or the one who got a bit too prematurely caught up) and has lived to tell their tale?
don’t be scurred and sh*t. we’re all family here.